Friday, September 26, 2008

Living the dream

Love friendship career at this point i am feeling so low that I feel I have lost it all. so many expectations so many dreams all dying a withering death slowly i thought this would be a second wind it turns out to be a maelstorm in which I am hopelessly caught.... there seems no hope a sense of loss is pervading and all ... it is frustrating to see yourself killing all hopes of a bright future that u might ve had its frustrating to see urself as if from a different plane go through the motions make the same mistakes again and againI dont know why I am writing this it seems as if i dont have anyone to share this with anymore I was happy in my college there were no expectations no one to satisfy nothing to prove here i can see my shortcomings all to glaringly . I want to be able to crack a good summers , I want to get some great marks I want to start winning again this spree of losing is too tough to bear I want to turn the tide before it swallows me whole ... I am turning into something I have always despised and have always feared every time before whenever there was a signal I would somehow scrape through. i would be scared but somehow I always escaped to make up yet another story all these years i have only been fooling myself of my abilities now there seems no way out its as if i have been surrounded and am being sucked into a never ending vortex I just want the strength of turning it around. I just want to be the guy I always wanted to become but never had the  confidence to be or maybe the capability to be. funny thing is i know nobody will read this i hope nobody does but guess i just had to blow off some steam.............

Friday, March 28, 2008

Of constant Travelling and gruelling project work!!!

Kolkata, Kalyani, Kozhikode -- the 3 Ks. These are the three places i have been constantly shuttling in and out of in the last 3.5 months I have my 5 IIM interviews in kolkata , my college(NIT Calicut) and home sweet home in kalyani.
Since that fateful day when I realized that I had got calls from the "dhams" of Indian management all my life's priorities took a U turn after having devoted all my energies to the dream of a IIM now i realize that I have a lot of work to do in order to graduate first(aside: talk of being a good manager!!! :()
Am in college for a week now before i fly off to kolkata for my final IIMB interview(april 3rd), and a sackful of deadlines have greeted me .... one thing for sure this semesters GPA is going to take a serious beating so I am really praying to the Gods to grant me an IIM admit(preferably ABC)....coz otherwise next time even my reasonably good GPA will desert me in my travails!!!
Anyways the biggest monster staring at my face now is my Btech major project after suffering utter neglect in our hands for the last 2 semesters it has reared its ugly head and is showing us how vicious it really is I/We have no idea how to go about it and there are 5 credits associated with that thing...phew!!!Am just waiting for the day when it ends happily ever after

Friday, February 15, 2008

Law Of Inertia and some RanDoM thoughts

I thought opening the blog was the biggest step once i did that I would be writing away. Buttttt newton's 1st law holds yet again...have been stuck up in various events.... just so you know I have my final year project's mid term evaluation lined up, we are conducting Saraswati puja on Sunday and have been running around for that(will post the pics after the puja) and my interviews which are coming up.. so am starting off this blog on ohh so rather mediocre terms .... but then again just wanted to start writing thats all....
Talking of random events watched the movie Gandhi a few days back...yeah I know its old and ppl have seen it a zillion times...but was awestruck with the acting in that film at several points in the film Sir Ben Kingsley actually looked like the actual Mahatma...
As an Indian the film still managed to evoke a myriad of emotions in me...the freedom which we all take so lightly was so bravely attained not even a lifetime ago...the wonderful path of non violence non co-operation and the string will of a man who would settle for nothing less. A single act of violence was enough for the non - cooperation movement to be called off... That pride of being an Indian which is now so easily lost in these days of the global citizen...and the green card bearing NRI... Not that I am passing any moral judgement but am just appreciating the twist that time brings... The pain that he went through when the nation he wanted independent was divided in front of his eyes...while he watched on so helplessly...the insecurity of being a minority so easily removing the unity with which independence was achieved.The single act in history which left us with a legacy of strife, terrorism and discontent among neighboring nations...
Among other things my days are spent procrastinating,day dreaming and wasting precious precious time...reading up on current affairs and sleeping in classes events any engineering student is so familiar with...its such a rut thats its not even easy to get out off...but then again my work ethic truly sucks...and just am hoping to change that someday....with the hope that it happens rather quickly.....until next time sayonaara!!!

Monday, February 11, 2008

Dear Readers...!!!

Hi everybody, this is my first attempt at blogging and understanding whats all the hullaboo about.At this point i really do not know what i will be blogging about i think as time passes the blog will take a direction of its own. I dont know if at all anyone will take up the trouble to even go through it but then again that i think is the basic spirit of blogging letting the world know your mind...also i hope this will help me get a perspective of my world and convey it to you.
Anyways here goes......
Statutory warning: Any one reading this blog will get to experience severe sarcastic vibes...so be prewarned!!!